How many hot dogs can you eat in one sitting? Two? Maybe three? Takeru Kobayashi ate fifty hot dogs and buns at a Nathan’s Famous international hot dog eating contest in Brooklyn, New York. Here’s the capper: he ate them all in twelve minutes. That’s almost thirteen pounds of food—and an intake rate of a little over four hotdogs a minute. Takeru also holds the world record for cow brains—he once ate 57 of them in fifteen minutes.

As if the cow brains aren’t enough, one guy devoured seven sticks of salted butter in five minutes, and another holds the record for downing four 32-ounce bowls of mayonnaise in eight minutes. If you're in Texas in March, swing by the Jalapeno eating contest in Laredo and have a go at the title: 152 jalapenos in 15 minutes.

The food competition is really heating up in America. The Japanese have been punishing their guts on television for a little over a decade, but it took a little longer for Americans to come around. The International Federation of Competitive Eating will govern more than two dozen food gorging contests this year, and if you haven’t seen this spectacle, you are truly missing out on one of life’s little known jaw-dropping moments. Naturally, you’re going to have to stay up late and find these competitions on obscure cable channels in the wee hours, but trust me, it’s worth it. Watching a man speed-load 274 Russian dumplings in six minutes is good old fashioned entertainment.

By the way, if you’re thinking about dropping in and competing in one of these glorious affairs, here are some tips from “Hungry” Charles Hardy, who currently holds the world record for shrimp (four pounds, nine ounces in 12 minutes) and cabbage (six pounds, nine ounces in 9 minutes):

Always stand up. It’s the law of gravity. Never overstuff your mouth. It it’s a hot dog, eat the dog first, then the bun. Chew about five times. You mother tells you to chew your food twenty times. You have to reject that. Take small, steady bites. Imagine your mouth as a wood chipper or a mulcher. Keep a constant flow—hot dog, bun, hot dog, bun. When you need to belch, belch. Use water only to wet down dry food. You don’t need as much water or saliva as you think. You have to trick your esophagus into relaxing. It takes conditioning. If you’re eating an apple pie, eat the insides first. It’s mush. Scoop it out with your hands. Eat the crust second. Soft first, then hard. Some guys use a spoon—I never do. Hamburgers: dip the whole thing in water and go to town. Remember, you’re not eating for taste, you’re eating to win. You need to practice on unfamiliar foods so you don’t choke. Hardest contest I ever did? Pickles. My jaw got so tired, I had to push up on it with my hands. I ate three pounds of pickles in ten minutes. I had to go to the bathroom thirty minutes later. I barely made it home.

I love this time of year because the citrus trees are bursting with fruit. There’s something to be said about walking into your backyard and plucking breakfast off the tree.