PHOENIX  - The Monster Truck Rally was just another place for trailer trash to socialize until the notorious "Grave Digger" plowed into the stands, only wounding two. The gigantic 1950 Chevy Panel Wagon veered towards the stands as the 540 cubic inch Keith Black modified engine came to life "like Satan's roar," as one terrified fan put it.

"After he hit (the jump), he gassed it instead of letting off like he should've," noted one STP- hat-wearing, peanut-butter-eatin', corn-liquor-drinkin', no-job-havin' scumbag.

"Yeah - woulda, coulda, shoulda," barked Grave Digger owner/driver Gary Dregs, who was trying to figure out why his vehicle stopped in row six. "This thing should be in the upper deck," said Dregs, shaking his head. "Might have to get bigger tires," Dregs muttered while stroking the eight-foot tall Goodyears that already adorn the vehicle.

Phoenix police investigated the crash, which occurred at America West Arena Saturday night, and determined it was an accident. Fans that weren't in the proposed path of the monster truck were looking for answers and refunds. "I expected a little more," remarked one fan wearing a Chevy wife beater, "I mean it's called the Grave Digger for a reason, right?"

Dregs is still under investigation for the slaughter of 86 cousin-fuckers at the Monster Truck Bash / Chili Cook Off in Mobile, Alabama in 1996. In Mobile, the Graver Digger blasted into the arena after losing to the "Rump Rump Master" in a Chevy/Ford Tug O' War. At an estimated speed of 35 mph, the Grave Digger slammed into the 10-foot concrete retaining wall and flipped, rupturing the fuel tank. The ensuing flash fire of high-octane alcohol fuel killed 56, and hundreds were treated at local hospitals for smoke inhalation. Thirty people were crushed like rodents in the fracas.

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