PHOENIX, ARIZONA - A couple members of the Arizona Cardinals know what love is. Regardless of the bleak predictions in front of them, two offensive players of the bleak Arizona Cardinals football team have offered their left arms to medical waste in what they call a "Tribute to Dye," which refers to the offensive lineman, Ernest Dye, who practically lost his arm last month in a dramatic car crash. The car crash, surprisingly, did not involve alcohol.

Offensive juggernaut Chris Gedney had his left arm whacked off just below the shoulder Wednesday in what he calls "bringing back the old school." Gedney was later seen catching passes one-handed with no one covering him; a feat which will probably be ignored by the tough defenses in the NFC East, since Chris Gedney hasn't been covered since 1984, when his wife "pulled a blatant pass-interference move that NO ONE can deny" during a family picnic / touch football game; a fact confirmed from The Gedney himself, with a belly full of pain killers.

Superstar receiver and multi-millionaire Rob Moore also had his left arm removed Wednesday with the same "Do It For Dye" statement released before the hatchet-ing. Moore recently signed a one-year deal for $3.53 million with a looming four-year deal worth $17.5 million and a signing bonus of $5 million to be finalized at the end of the week. "I just want to do what's best for the team," Moore said, echoing his truthful sentiments during his SIX WEEK HOLDOUT. Moore, who has been considered a top prospect amongst the receivers in the National Football League, feels he hasn't changed since the whacking. "Just test me, baby," Moore said. It's anticipated that the Philadelphia Eagles cornerbacks will be testing the one-armed millionaire on Sunday September 12, at the season-opener in Philly. Philadelphia Defensive Back Michael Zordich commented: "Test him? That's gonna be like tackling my SISTER - I'll just cover Sanders... uh, I mean, I'll cover GEDNEY." Zordich then laughed loudly and left the pressroom.

It's going to be a long and hard haul for the Cardinals this season with two of their offensive powerhouses playing as amputees, for sure.

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